My Living Space Corner

PeopleS

2009-07-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

I didn't know why there are some certain type of a group of people who likes to disturb others people's life instead thinking about theirs?

Is that fun to manipulate other people's true story and turned it into ur own story?I certainly certainly hate the people.The people who I knew since i was born,kept trying to find ways to take the opportunity to being involved in my story.Manipulate it,turn lie into trust which that hurt me the most!

Everyone have their own journey and own story to tell.YOU doesn't need to help them tell the story with some additions in it.You have your story and I have mine!So please...don't be a loser and try to gain people's trust and turn them down when YOU doesn't like ME or anyone else!

Think for yourself if I'm the one who done that kind of stupid stuffs to you.What would u feel first of all? Angry? Sad? Hurt? Well, don't try to think that I'm very weak.I knew I'm weak.It doesn't mean I wouldn't stand much stronger than I am before.Stop being a fool.

Ask who you are and what character are you in YOUR STORY instead asking ME or anyone else about MY story or theirs.Be smart.Don't play with the truth.You'll be ugly at last.Think properly before you act.

My Life and Me for today,7 July '09

2009-07-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

I couldnt find myself in the right way,when everyone made judgement on every angle of it as possible. I could barely even make myself a judgement. I'm confused,stucked,narrowed-minded,unconfident,shamed and etc. Every person I've met,I really jealous everything they had. The life they go through,the future they pictured,the confident in them and every way it goes.

I wouldnt find myself wrong when i said the facts what had happened to me,my life,my journey,my experience,my joy,my emotion,my family and my future. I wouldnt even want to be blamed to speaking out the ugly truth. It's the matter in fact,they couldnt accept it as a mistake and turn it all around. I accepted the fact what kind of life i'm having now,journey i'm going through,experience i'm experiencing,emotions i'm feeling. It's all an extraordinary for me as a 20-years-old-going-adult-young-lady. Most of all,I'm been a patient young lady since I was born into this earth.

But,in fact,everything i did and said are all covered story. I felt very miserable. I couldnt speak what's on my mind. All of it,erased in case I'm not being thought as a story teller or a liar. I knew i'm weak,unconfident,unrealistic,very emotional,sensitive,running out of my mind and i'm going to be ended up as a mental patient. All of everything I did,it doesnt go well or it ended up as if i'm giving excuses to get what I wanted.

Lost

2009-07-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

Now i really know what i can really choose and where i can really go.

Although i know what i want and where i want to go,it's still no use as it's not accepted at all.

Everything are limited for me.

Where i would end up to be?

I'm lost now.

HELP!

2009-02-17T23:23:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Geraldine

Rules:It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag twenty people.Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name: Irene
2. A four Letter Word: Idol
3. A boy's Name: Ivan
4. A girl's Name: Ivy
5. An occupation: Interpol
6. A color: Indigo
7. Something you'll wear: Inner wear
8. A food: Ice cream
9. Something found in the bathroom: Ivy body shampoo
10. A place: Iceland
11. A reason for being late: I woke up late!
12. Something you'd shout: I hate you!
13. A movie title: Ip Man
14. Something you drink: Ice blended chocolate
15. A musical group: Il Divo
16. An animal: Ilama
17. A street name: Ismail King street (Jalan Sultan Ismail)
18. A type of car: Innova
19. The title of a song: I Can-Nas

{Tag}
Anyone

今天的故事：考试的第一天

2009-01-14T04:51:00.001-08:00

重来没想过我考试的时候，我的脑袋是那么的累，那么的努力，结果也没有用。读来读去，还是吸收不到那科。我不是一个分不清楚要做哪一样的人，而且我很懂得已经是考试时机。我今天只睡一个小时多，我真的好累好累，我不想说多也不想想多。只是我自己懂得自己的奇案，我并不需要某一些的意见对我的动作。如果要的话，请想清楚要怎么样的表达您的心意。真的不好意思如果我答所谓的问题有点重了一点。对不起。

回来家里的时，我无法去面对我自己的那一失败。这是我第一次面对的事，就是我读的我记住的根本进不了我的记忆！真失败！我对我自己说过，我可以的，但是我只认为我在骗自己咯！

今天的故事：考试到了！

2009-01-13T04:08:00.000-08:00

没想到今天我会在这里选择了话语已然表达我的心情。今天呢，我真的真的很用功和努力去好好的温习为了目前和未来我的生活。我没想那么多，只是我认为我应该做好我的角色就是当个学生。只不过，有一些时候发生的东西是有理由的。不管哪一件事发不发生，我们的生活已然实在过得很正常。是否我做的每一件事的错还是对，我有我的理由，我的故事，我的成长，我的福气能够在这世界上完成我的梦想。爸妈最近会想念我和弟弟吧，一个在当兵，一个在外面读书。两个都不在家，只剩下最小的弟弟。希望最小的那个能够改变他的脾气，该有成长的想法了。。。我只希望全家人都开开心心，健健康康，过得日子也很好！爸妈就长命百岁！

好了呀，我该去温习了。但是想到外人有过年快到的气氛。我们，拉曼学生已然伤心准备着考试！不用经！大家加油！晚安咯！

It's time to let it out.

2008-12-15T07:41:00.000-08:00

There's no doubt a student might have their own pressure in doing their own decision and their regular activities.It seems like i've done a lot most of it and i've crossed the line far away.Instead i'm choosing the right decision, I've went completely insane about

My Dearest Aunt

2008-11-24T06:36:00.000-08:00

It's been just a while she just passed away just like that. When i got the news from mom, I'm zipped...didn't know what to say. The last time i visit her in the hospital was just yesterday before i came back to my hostel. Actually i wasn't feel alright these days right after we celebrated her birthday with us just on sunday for the last 2 weeks. But, that day she wasn't in a mood it's as if she knew something is going to happen and she wouldn't let us know. So, we won't worry about her. She insisted till on Tuesday where she complaint her painful arm whereby the cancer cells started to spread right after long time ago where she had breast cancer. She done the surgery and one side of her breast is gone.

After for so long, cancer cells moved and spread to another place and start to mutate the skin cells just right on her right arm. It spreads very quickly, without noticing. It swollen,reddish, and even felt numb. Every of her son and daughter who are my cousins told us how much she used to be so optimistic and strong but now she started to become weaker and weaker by each day those cancer cells attacked her. It all started late last year where some part of her throat swollen too. Next was her arm. Doctor been researching for this cell but still there is no cure to prevent it. More and more people got this kind of disease where there's no cure unless we know how to prevent and avoid it ourself by taking good care of our health and first of all by daily food intake.

Cancer cells really can frightened you for the first time but when it comes to the next level, you'll suffer the moment right after that. They recognized the anti-bodies in our body and they even changed themselves or improve themselves by genetically so that they can overcome our antibody and starts to conquer the part which can be easily affected. I still remember how she manage to get everything done even helping on her own sister's restaurant. She helped her each day without stopping until the day she got sick and she need to take some rest at home to cure it. I've even remembered when my family and I used to went back our hometown at Sungkai,Ipoh, she always know what I want to eat which is Assam Laksa. It was my favourite food. She really used to be a happy aunt,mom,wife,daughter and even grandma. She really is a good person! I'm missing those moments....

In spite, for the first time i heard my mom that she was hospitalized, I was not that scare since she just complaint her arm was in pain. Then the next day, I was on my way back home from college, I've called dad, he told me she only got few days left to live. Tears bursting out my eyes but i try to stay strong since many people were surrounding that place. So, when i got back my room, I've started thinking back about last time moments. Before she was hospitalized, i remembered i couln't sleep well and even my right-hand bottom eyelid was like clicking...and i know something bad is going to happen...but i didnt think it was my aunt who will be hospitalized.....For the first time i visit her in the hospital, she was lying there without opening her eyes maybe because doctor prescribed her 1ml of morphin each drop like that! IT'S MORPHIN! GOD SAKE! it's a very strong medicine as a pain killer! But without it, she can't resist her pain at her arm.

Right after my dad fetched me there. Everyone was there,sitting,standing,blurring,sad-ding,praying....and when i first saw her. I'm really in shock...both of her arms were infected....Usually when we're visiting patient, we try to communicate with them and tell them who's here to visit her/him. Her son told me to call her and tell her who am i.....I was really didn't know how to open my mouth and tears starting to flow....I really really can't open my mouth and call her but i'm always right beside her....looking on her condition,looking on the droplets of 1ml of morphin and total of 50ml she had taken...It's very strong until she can't even wake up nicely and being fresh....It was happening fast right after that...Cancer issues kept flashing on my mind...telling me how ridiculous and how horrible cancer cells can attack you with no notation or any message. It just came to you without you noticing or everyone else....her cancer was in the 1st stage....

I'm now completely restless...every part of my body need to take some rest and my mind need to clear off everything which is bad...Last but not least, I'm gonna miss her....May u rest in peace...I love you! We all loved you!!

Faithful Or Unfaithful?

2008-11-22T08:21:00.000-08:00

Things doesn't seems right when onceu want it and loyal to it such as goal to achieve.But at the same time, things could change once when u think about getting a new one.How could it be since u're loyal to the first goal? Decision made need to be wise but action taken need to be smart. Anyway, i don't know how to describe here. But i'm still can't choose between both of them. Think patiently....

'xtra Time for tag

2008-11-15T07:30:00.000-08:00

Instructions:Remove one question from above and add in your personal question. Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people. List them out at the end of the post. Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. Do you hate doing tag?
{ Not really but loves it when nothing comes to do }

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
{ Would rather prefer both of them....I really care about my friendships and also my relationship }

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
{ Well...honestly, i've been thinking it for quite in larger number..but...eh...ntg la...just i'll regret later }

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
{ Nope....most probably will be unconfident...couldnt help it...can even think of reasonable reason to explain all these things....for example, u're already lazy then ppl told u to tell urself in the mirror that u're not lazy....what kind of way to help it...i really doesnt know y! }

5. How many babies you want?
{ Love twins! }

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
{ Well of course! }

7. What is your goal for this year?
{ Pass everything and graduate!!!! }

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
{ Well, yea...but i still havent find any...LOL! }

9. What's a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to u? (List 10)
~Faithful
~Honest
~Kind
~Caring
~Discipline
~Unselfish
~Have own achievement
~Own personality
~Happy guy
~Obedient guy

10.What feeling do you love most?
{ Being appreciate all the time }

11. What are the requirements you wish from the other half?
{ It's kinda similar to Q9 actually... }

12. is there anything you wanna tell the ppl you hate ?
{ Don't always judge others while you haven't see the truth behind urself }

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
{ All...but some doesn't even appreciates me...hmmm...sad }

14. What does flying means to you?
{ Freedom }

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
{ Holidays! I need to TAKE A BREAK!!!! }

16. Who has the biggest influnce on you?
{ Of course my parents and myself }

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words.
{ Lol...i'm just take anyone's tag to fill my time }

18. What have you done to yourself to make yourself happy?
{ Ermm.....sleep till when i'm done? }

19. What will u become in another 10 years to come?
{ Would manage to achieve all my goal done right before I'm into 30+ }

20. Who is your Idol?
{ Mom and Dad }

TAGGING TO:
Anyone okie? ^_^

Tagged

2008-11-15T07:16:00.000-08:00

1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own15 weird things/habits/little known factsas well as state the rules clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back!deng oso duuno wat tis stuff haha anyways join em la hahaha!!!

1) Love to be in crowds

2) Loves my pillow....hahaha ><"

3) I would prefer more sauce foods like spagetti,indian rice with more curry or sambal sauces...

4) Been watching hong kong drama since was a kid...or either having astro or mega tv last time...

5) Loves doing sports....love active lifes...

6) Always smile to people no matter i knew or i didnt know =)

7) Singing is my first priority in my hobbies...

8) Dancing would be the 2nd one...^^

9) Can talk a lot which is not related to serious conversation like studies...hahaha

10) Likes being pay attention {LOL}

11) I'm always treasure all my friends...i don't just "Hi" and then "Bye" kind of friend

12) I'm used to stay at home since i'm born...well most people said i'm staying in a jail...

13) If i'm with my close friends...i would say such unpolite words...haha...=P

14) I would like to have a younger sis or elder one...but...i'm faithed not to have one of them...

15) Would prefer 24/7 partner which would no matter what's the time i need him...he'll be right on time! Faithful, honest, caring, kind, brave, discipline, and etc...

TAG:
I would prefer to let anyone to choose whether they want to do it or not....it's freedom guys...^^

All The Way Around

2008-11-14T05:38:00.000-08:00

I should have known it was you all along,

I didn't know what i had till it was gone,

Now i'm fallin down, fallin down, fallin down ,

And the trouble with the truth that you face

Is that you're haunted by all your mistakes

And now i'm callin out, callin out

But you can't be found, can't be found

Those nights those days will not be replaced

When I throw them away

I had to go all the way around

I had to go all the way around

Just to figure out how to get back where I started from

I had to search higher and low

I had to search everywhere to know

That everything i wanted was what i had (had to go)

All the way around just to get back where i started from

All the way around all the way around

All the way around just to get back where i started from

Just to get back where i started from

Would you listen to a heart that has learned

Could you give another chance to this girl

I'm so sorry now, sorry now, sorry now

Can't believe that i might be too late

I see my future when i'm starin at your face

I'm not letting go cuz we belong

I was a fool baby i was wrong

And these arms they ache

And this soul is in pain

Cuz I threw the best thing I ever had away

I had to go all the way around

Just to figure out how to get back where I started from

I had to search higher and low

I had to search everywhere to know

That everything i wanted i was what i had (had to go)

All the way around just to get back where i started from

All the way around all the way around

All the way around just to get back where i started from

Just to get back where i started from x2

Ohh and these arms they ache

And this soul is in pain

Cuz I threw the best thing I ever had away

I had to go all the way around

Just to figure out how to get back where I started from

I had to search higher and low

I had to search everywhere to know

That everything i wanted was what i had (had to go)

All the way around just to get back where i started from

All the way around all the way around

All the way around just to get back where i started from

Just to get back where i started from....

Recently....

2008-11-13T00:27:00.000-08:00

There are quite a few things which had been happening to me...all things are included such as health, studies and family prob but it's ok now...everything back to their own place..but all these things happened really affected my life from now on...life experience is a sure to be learnt...

Lately, i had loss my appetite, my weight, my soul and patience....it's all affected..i can't even sleep properly...been having cold sweat during daytime and fever during the night time...i even have my palm and my foot very heaty...it's always been like that since i was young...everynight i just felt that i need a cold ice bucket to put my hands and legs together so it dun feel it is as if it's burning hot!

i've also been going through growing the last teeth...both up and down...sigh...really painful ohhh!! but it's alright...since i wan my whole set of teeth is fully grown hehe....=P but the worst part which is i felt i'm fever...i've got no appetite to eat many things...then also teeth gums swollen and pain! omg....suffering only...weight dropped...and i don't even know what's my weight right now since my weighing machine is at my other room...my home sweet room....ish...

Then ho...i also lately got join dance class..i've taken street jazz with my cousin sis and her friends....sigh...sometimes when the dance instructor told us to repeat the dance steps then ho my breathing start to get complicated....my heart beat slows down....my muscle cramp...my head spinning....and i looked myself at the mirror...and i'm in pale color...nice 1...and i knew i gotta rest and sit down...but...i still try to be tough thou....it's freaking me but for my cousin sis...i don't think she ever care it...coz last time when i used to exercise...my face will be whole in red color but this time i definitely and confirmed that i'm going to faint soon...

But still, she doesn't care....nvm...if something happens that time...then it's too late...lol! "touch wood" "touch wood" hahaha...got also end up hospitalized la....hahaha...okok continue...i'm still standing strong wor...drink water then squad down then ok...continue my dance...sigh...noone knew i've suffered...then also been fever and having cold sweat for 2-3 days so it's time to tell mom what had happened...she even think i got dengue tim....sigh =.="

So i went to doctor for help...doctor also dunno what's my condition....so the next day took blood test....hahaha...the funny thing is that i didnt know there's need no to inject "ubat bius" before blood sample was taken...hahaha...so i seriously asked the doctor," You really want to poke it in and take blood ar??!" The doctor also laugh at me...told me to see other way....but the doctor also dunno i'm not scare of it...but that time sick so no choice need to listen if not later faint...lol...who knows what will happen next right? hehe

So, doctor asked me whether i'm really got pressure or felt very pressuring and i've told him yea i did have...everynight sleep unappropriately and even noticed myself having diffiulty in breathing....then he asked me i've studying what course...and i've told him biochemistry....he also okok la the reaction but he asked izzit too many things to study...but i've told him it's complicated...sigh...

Then he can see that my whole body and my face got the paleness and tiredness in me so gave me a day off to college...wow...i felt relief...got mc no need scare lecturer...lol! but...i did slept the whole day too....damn it...caused me couldnt sleep at middle of the night...LMAO..

So, report came out at noon. Doctor told i'm alright overall but one thing....which is the min blood cell size and min blood volume...he told me i might have this disease named thalassaemia..but it's not worse wan la...it's just minor and it's not affecting my health and i get it from my family thou...coz it's from generation to generation...the doctor even told me when i wan to find a bf need to check whether he got the situation or not...if he got situation like me then it's impossible to give birth to a healthy baby child....sigh...the doctor laughed and smiled at me nia....><"

But nvm.....later on i told mom bout my report and she told me like my dad's sis had this..so...i know already lor...sigh...doctor told me to do some confirmation about having this disease or not...but mom told me to go back home first only decide...so this week i'm going back and i gotta do facial with skin specialist and i had to check out my report with my mom's....

Everday 9am to 5pm class.....i really been concerning bout my health but timetable isnt going to tolerate it with me unless i decide it myself...and i did...9am classes i've not been going...coz i got not enough sleep! and no mood tim....but it's ok la now...trying to ionize myself....i'm back to work now then~! will update more soon....

ChiNgz

Begining On With A New Leaf

2008-11-07T23:57:00.000-08:00

I just couldn't believe i had to make another life once again. Due to unexpected things happened recently, everything was in complete disaster! Well, it's still alright now. Nothing to worry about. Everything does have their own history in life, aren't it?

Now, starting a new begining does need some time to cure up and clear up everything. It doesn't meant i need to throw everything that's handy for me. I can take that as guarantee. As for myself, I'm glad i know what to do next in my life. Although i'm not really confident in getting it but still i've tried my best right?

Really been hoping so hard i could go through all these mother nature disaster. Hmmm, things aren't getting easier as our age is getting bigger in number. So, human really have their abundance of barrier in their own life. It's true anyway. But it helps a lot on not making more mistakes again in the future.

Things that i've been deleting in the past would be historic in me. Now, it's time for a new begining of a new leaf of me!

$~Irene~$