You

I really didn't know how to explain it very details how you were in front of me...I just knew that I knew you very well and indeed very very understandable because I'm used to be like you.
I couldn't found back the old me with the same attitude with u. Just because I've experienced too much...enough to versus ur life experiences with u throughout 6 years....
It's the main reason that I'm very tired of previous relationships. I knew you too doesn't want to be arguing most of the time and also feel very tired throughout the experiences....
I knew you...now how you want it to be?

If you want to choose regret

I'm keeping myself back, I'm giving you time to think. Im giving you time to tolerate and I'm giving you everything that you want to be.
How about you towards me? Trying to say that I kept arguing with you and made you felt like not teaching me. This is how you gonna treat me? While just smiling and laughing a bit to argue that one point? For god sake, I'm just joking! If you are joking to me, I'm angry. You said that I'm what? Think back....
Who tolerates who now? Are you trying to make yourself regret? You choose

Believe in life after love?

It sometimes felt I'm always giving and not receiving. You can be like who you are, and I'm losing myself again for this purpose.
At some point, I felt I'm a fool and always been the one that's patience with anything. You can scold, you can jealous, you can be who you are, you can be pissing off, you can be having your own space and me? Did you ever thought of me how would I be when you put yourself into my accurate position with your own anger and patience?
You have your own temperature, I do have too. I don't want to let it out because I felt tired of getting fight and arguing. And you know it. I guess I'm giving you off time.

Win or Lose

If you keep on counting on how I talked to you,said to you,statement it to you and etc....
I think I need to leave u some time for you to think about what rules you wanted between us.
But, if you are thinking setting up rules, it won't be normal us again. All are just following rules and I can tell you that it's not who I am anymore.
Think.....

Pressure

It's almost same day as usual on weekdays where I don't get my mood happy at all. If I had, I will be moody again.
It's hard, really hard to maintain a good mood when he's there so strict but to others were all friendly.
Jealousy? I don't think so. I wish there's somebody who knows this exact feeling that I'm going through everyday. Heart sour. All I could do is just be patience? And being bullied? I rather quit if I keep holding on. I couldn't take it any much longer....

Moody Monday

Early morning thought it was a great chance of getting out from the current company. It seems like I'm still staying till I found other options.
Interview was nothing much like others as the interviewer was just asking on what I do know about this program that they are hiring. I just roughly gave an answer and know nothing much. So we discuss about what's the program is about. How will it be and what I'm going to be after the program ended at 8 months later.
The first answer given was going to be sales business banker. Involving loans for wide companies. No sales, termination on the way. No commission just bonus based on performance. Basic salary would just be around what I have right at the moment. Basically, I knew the answer that I doesn't want this position and I couldn't leave my current company for the moment.
So, thought it would be a great opportunity but it seems like I have to patiently waiting for another news....
While driving back, I didn't know where else I could go. Thinking to eat my brunch but felt only one person eating mcd would not be delicious and thinking of buying a new pair of heels for working but it seems like I'm not in the mood.
So I went back home. Eat instant noodle and while cooking it, I couldn't take it anymore. My tears started to flow. Really are not in the good mood.

Broken past,hurt present,happy future?

Last time with my old character with attitude but I don't seem to have many friends at school and college...
Been living heart broken for past few years...relationship torn,parents disappointment in me,friendship and I'm lost...
I did ever think back that my prev life journey was totally incredibly humiliated and was a pain in the ass. Being hurt,leading disappointment,betrayed,feeling fool,and was trying to get everything to be balance in everything. Dropped my weight at least 5kgs. And maintaining at the weight of still underweight BMI...
Till recently, supper...gained weight if 5kgs...and going through a hectic and messy life...having a lot of patience but I didn't know how long it will last till I will give up or I give up by the time there's no choice that he didn't give me a confirmation...it's been half year...and still going on...going through lot but yet not as hurt as past relationships. All I could ever do is just being patience with every challenges and also do the best that I could. But, I still need supports from peoples who I loved and always been my favourite.
I wish I knew the result of my future journey...
I just want to be living a normal,peaceful and happy life...that's all I ever wanted. It's not a big dreams but a dream that is possible to get if I really met the real person.