Broken past,hurt present,happy future?

Last time with my old character with attitude but I don't seem to have many friends at school and college...
Been living heart broken for past few years...relationship torn,parents disappointment in me,friendship and I'm lost...
I did ever think back that my prev life journey was totally incredibly humiliated and was a pain in the ass. Being hurt,leading disappointment,betrayed,feeling fool,and was trying to get everything to be balance in everything. Dropped my weight at least 5kgs. And maintaining at the weight of still underweight BMI...
Till recently, supper...gained weight if 5kgs...and going through a hectic and messy life...having a lot of patience but I didn't know how long it will last till I will give up or I give up by the time there's no choice that he didn't give me a confirmation...it's been half year...and still going on...going through lot but yet not as hurt as past relationships. All I could ever do is just being patience with every challenges and also do the best that I could. But, I still need supports from peoples who I loved and always been my favourite.
I wish I knew the result of my future journey...
I just want to be living a normal,peaceful and happy life...that's all I ever wanted. It's not a big dreams but a dream that is possible to get if I really met the real person.