I don't know how

He said that he's been thinking a lot lately after we arguing. Basically I kept shooting him back every time he ask me question. But I am just jokingly and smiling while answering it. I knew I didn't respect him previously. But I change is because I want to respect people. So others don't feel that I am rude as how he said me.
It's true I am jumping back into this romance. I don't want to have another bad romance. I have too tired enough. Really tired. Sad. Been not sleeping well lately. Wake up and cry. While sleeping I am crying. If it's not, my body will be shaking or shocked once and when I sleep back, my body shocked once again.
I really wanted this and I know that if we both change, it's no longer us anymore.
If I go and find him. I think he would probably piss off already. I really didn't know how because I just want to talk with him regarding on this. My heart just can't stop thinking and my heart hurts.